11 and 13

It has been a week since my girls turned 11 and 13 and I wanted to keep my personal "tradition" by writing something to honor them. 

I have been parenting for 13 years now; I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions for that long too and even though most days I feel like I'm succeeding at it, I would be lying if I said that there aren't terrible days when I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing.  As a mother, I question myself a lot; I often wonder if I'm modeling the behavior needed to raise good humans, I wonder if my kids love me, I ask myself what else I could be doing to make their lives better, I wonder if I'm doing my absolute best effort at giving them all the tools they need to be great people and to succeed in life and because this week someone I know tragically lost her 4-year-old child, I have also found myself wondering how much time I will have with my children in this earthly life...too many thoughts fill my mind.

But despite all my self-doubt and the terrible parenting days, I know my children are an absolute blessing; they are healthy, smart, loving, and kind-hearted people who are making the world a better place and for that, I am happy and satisfied.

On July 16th Gaby turned 11 years old, she will soon be starting middle school and even though she's shy and mostly a loner, she's an absolute joy to be around.  Gaby loves reading, playing Roblox, eating all the sugar, and spending time with her cats (cat lover like her mama!).  Gaby is a girl of few friends, very private and quite irritable at times, part of her personality so we understand her. This year's celebration was very different from prior birthdays (for obvious reasons); she chose to have 2 friends over and thoroughly enjoyed her afternoon. I realize Gaby doesn't need much to be splendidly happy but she does crave love and affection so I will live to give her as much of that as I possibly can, all the days of my life.  Happy Birthday, Gaby! We love you so much!

On July 17th Olivia officially became a teenager, although I could argue she has had that teenage "sass" for some time now ;) Olivia is a shining star; she has such a magnetic personality and a huge heart! She loves Harry Styles, decorating and re-decorating her room, fashion, and make-up (not sure where she got that one from! LOL).  She has also become quite the shopper but I can proudly say she's super conscious about money (she did get that from me, thank God!). As opposed to Gaby, Olivia is very outgoing and a complete social butterfly, I really love that about her! She spent her birthday with one of her friends and had an absolute blast regardless of current limitations. Happy Birthday, Olivia! Go be a teenager!

I thank God every day for my children, I am grateful for all the blessings that are poured onto our family every day, I am also grateful for the not so good days when I question myself and when I fail because they are an opportunity to learn and grow.  I pray that God gives me the wisdom to raise good people and hope that if my kids only ever remember one thing about me is that I will always try my absolute hardest to love them for who they are. 

And last but not least, I would like to offer a special prayer for the mom who lost her precious child this week, may she have the strength to cope with such terrible loss and may we all be conscious of the collective suffering of a life lost.